2024: The Year of Retreat
As long as I can remember, there has been this overpowering emphasis on production, constant forward propulsion, and tangible results that can be calculated, analyzed, and tracked. It was cool to tell everyone how busy you are - an air of aristocracy whiffing off of you as you ramble on about lunch dates, back to back meetings, and the vacation plans happening right after work travel. Insert humble brag about starting a new executive position and the long hours, a new baby or happy relationship taking up your time. You want to make it that weekend, but you can’t </3. Being busy signifies that you are are in the process of building something for yourself - whether that’s social network, career, or family. An internal indicator that you are moving forward in life, or so you think.
At the start of every year, with this invisible pressure to produce, I would prescribe myself a remedy of obligations to be a better person than I was twelve months prior. Better - smarter, more successful, more well read, more healthy, more organizations joined, more friends, more travel, more events, more hobbies, more money - more More MORE!
And as December 2023 came to a close, I gently asked myself once again, exhausted from a personal roller coaster of a year, what more can I do? Maybe it’s the recent surge of TikToks and other social media posts romanticizing slow mornings, bed rotting and gentle days, but for the first time, while I glanced at my full calendar, dwindling bank account, piling laundry, 77 unread text messages, and notifications of email inboxes at capacity, I thought maybe, this year, I am not capable of more.
For a person who thrives on accomplishments, this bothered me. At my age, I have approximately 50 years of resolutions left - how can I be tapping out this early?
Maybe, all of these years I had it wrong. Happiness, success and growth isn’t about MORE, but aligning your self with yourself.
Instead my typical New Year’s resolutions of daily to-do’s, work out routines, and rigid timelines of when I need to be doing/making/ being XXX by XXX, I reflected on what values are important to me, the ones I exemplify well, and ones I would like to focus this year. What does living these values look like and are my actions moving me towards the person I want to be? By allowing myself to focus on the overarching values of who I want to become, making better choices seems inevitable. Example: If I wanted to focus on being more health conscious, I would ask myself “What would a health conscious person do in this situation? Order the pizza or the salad?” Or if my value was patience, the question could be “Does this action or response support me in my goal of becoming a more patient, poised person?" Thinking this way also allows yourself compassion and reason. Example: “I had salads a few nights in a row, even a health conscious persons enjoys a slice of pizza now and then unless they are a miserable freak etc…” With this mindset, you are still bettering yourself throughout the year, but in a more natural manner.
Although the new year has just begun, I am already feeling the creative benefits and mental space cleared from not having to consistently monitor, track, and compare. I am more passionate, putting more positive energy into people and projects than I ever did in 2023. Natural energy, raw passion at that - no forced cheesy text, no dragging myself to the gym, less procrastination. I am acting off of pure internal motivation, vs what the endless noise on the internet tells me I should be doing. I am just as ‘busy’ as ever, but out of enjoyment as opposed to obligation. This year, I am growing by retreating into myself. And I have never felt so hopeful.
